SNARK ALERT – Screeching Little Girls 10

Snark alert – I’m most definitely snarky today, so you have been warned. For good measure, here’s the snark, free from her cage:

La Snark Escaping From Her Cage

I finally got around to watching War of the Worlds the other night. I know, seven years later.

Okay, don’t throw rotten lettuce, but I was underwhelmed. I didn’t believe any of it. I certainly didn’t believe that Tom Cruise escaped in the first sequence. Is it me or did he do lots o’facial gestures but not much real acting? Lots of lucky dodging and weaving. Overall, I thought it was boring and simply didn’t make a lot of sense in a lot of crucial areas. Plus, I never really cared about the Tom Cruise character or the truculent teenager (been there, done that, have no wish to rinse, repeat). Special effects don’t matter to me if the characters don’t resonate.

But here’s what really bothered me. There’s a little girl in our neighborhood who has this high pitched squeal that she uses whenever she wants to get attention. Take the sound of nails on a chalkboard, an aluminum ice tray opening, and the yowl of cats in heat and roll it all together and it’s still not as annoying as this little girl.

The exact same sound the little girl in the movie makes.

Halfway through the movie, I was hoping she would get eaten. In fact, I found myself talking to the aliens. “She’s in the basement!”

(I know, I know, this isn’t very uplifting or positive of me, is it?)

So, do you have problems suspending your disbelief in certain movies? And do certain character traits drive you batty?

La Snark has now been coaxed back into her cage.

Really, What Is Their Excuse? 8

La Snark

Snark Alert!!

Yesterday, in San Antonio, we had rolling blackouts.

Today, people at City Hall are freaking out because we have a forecast of 2 inches of snow. We don’t have snow plows.

Didn’t someone watch the news? Or use weatherunderground.com?

Really?

 

My Inner Snark 4

This was originally published on September 12, 2008. I’m feeling lazy today, so I thought I’d put it up again.

 

 

I think snarky is one of my favorite secret emotions.

You never like to confess to anyone that you’re snarky, or that you have the capacity to be b _ _ _ _ y, which is like being snarky on hormones, but we all are.

Okay, some of us aren’t.  I have met some people who are just sweetness and light all the time.  They don’t want to gossip about anyone, they only have good things to say about their ghastly Diva boss, they’re never hacked off at their husbands, their children, or the dog. These people act as examples for the rest of us.  They are paragons of virtue.  They are saints.  They are angels among us.

I am not one of those people.

At 3:30 in the morning the water softener system lost its mind.  It drains into the drain in the laundry room and I was awakened by the noise.  Hiss, pop, crackle, gurgle, slurp, pop, clang – over and over.  I went into the garage not exactly dressed, shall we say, and twisted knobs, pounded levers, pushed buttons, anything to get the bloody thing to stop.  It didn’t.

Two hours later it stopped, at which time I figured out that it does this periodically to recharge, and it was just a fluke that I heard it this time.  Well, kemosabe, I get to pay nearly $100 to have the service man come out and verify that I didn’t screw anything up by becoming hysterical and pushing buttons.

My inner snark has come out to play.

I’m not mad at the water conditioning company.  They didn’t do anything. I’m not mad at me.  I did what any half-naked, hysterical woman would do at 3:30 in the morning when faced with a piece of equipment that sounded like it was going to explode.

I’m just feeling a little snarky, and when it has passed, I’ll open the cage and coax the snark back inside.