Cheese Crackers for the Truly Lazy 2

From http://www.genaw.com/lowcarb/cheezits.html

I can’t eat grains of any kind, so when I crave something like popcorn or crackers, I’m out of luck (corn is a grain).

But tonight, in the midst of one of those crunchy cravings, I stumbled onto something. (Sorry, no pictures.)

You can make really great cheese crackers by cutting American cheese slices into 1″ squares, putting them on parchment paper, and nuking them until they turn brown on the edges. They puff up and make crackers similar to goldfish.

I was out of American cheese, but, I knew what happened to grated Parmesan cheese (think Kraft) when you heat it. I took out a small square plate with a square depression, sprinkled a whole bunch of Parmesan cheese in the depression, patted it down with a fork, put it in the microwave and nuked it for 1 minute.

I’m a genius!

It melted and solidified in the minute it was nuked. I lifted it from the plate immediately, just in case it got stuck, and turned it upside down to cool. It’s a bendable cracker at this point. When it’s cool, about 2 minutes, you can break it into pieces. It would be a great cracker for guacamole, for example. You can vary the thickness by how much Parmesan you use, and I suppose I could have gotten fancy and scored the still bendable cracker with a pizza cutter. Next time, I’ll try that.

Voila! A crunchy cheese cracker for the truly lazy.

Why My Thanksgiving Is Catered 8

Yesterday, I wanted to make a low-carb cheesecake.

So far, so good.

I evaluated the low carb recipe. I had all the ingredients. I evaluated all the tools necessary. Stove – check. Springform pan – check. Hand mixer – check. Large pan to set the springform pan into – check. Teakettle to boil water to put into the water bath – check.

With great care and dexterity, I did the following:

• Turned on the stove.
• Lined the springform pan with foil for the water bath.
• Made the crust with almond flour, butter, and a liquid sweetner. So far, so good.

I set out the eggs and cream cheese so they could obtain room temperature. Hey, it’s 85 here today, so that would take only a few minutes. However, the prep took long enough for the crust to turn a bit more brown (a lighter shade than black, but in the same family) than required. No problem. I can do it again. And, so I did.

As I’m pressing the second crust into the pan, an egg rolled off the counter. Shooing dog away came first (Flash will eat anything, and raw egg looked promising). Then I cleaned the floor. As I was washing my hands, another egg rolled off the counter (you’d think I would have learned, but I still maintain Flash had something to do with it.) I shooed and cleaned again before going back to the crust.

Crust is in the oven, so let’s start with the filling. I’d measured out everything, put it on a prep counter, so all ready. Put the cream cheese in the bowl and started the mixer. Horrible sound followed by the smell of burning and one of the beaters becoming airborne. It landed on the other side of the kitchen. Thank God it didn’t hit me or the dog (who is underfoot hoping for some goodies).  Okay, I’ll take the broken beater off and use just the one beater. Please. What a scream. Cream cheese is flying everywhere. (Flash even got a dollop on his nose – yippee!) Then, little black pieces of the mixer are flying everywhere and into the cream cheese.

I asked myself if I really wanted cheese cake bad enough to eat metal parts, and regrettably, the answer was no. So, I cleaned up the disaster, threw away the mess, got a cup of coffee, and ate the crust like a big cookie.

Is it any wonder that Thanksgiving is catered at my house? Oh, and by catered I mean I pick up the meal from the deli and warm it up or cook it through. But it’s all prepared. I’ve proven I can turn on a stove, so I’m safe.

Cooking and Me Reply

If you’ve been reading this blog for any time at all, you’ll know how I feel about cooking. Bleh.

But here’s something you might not have known. All my life, I’ve battled a weight problem. I’m actually thinking of revealing more about that at a later date. For now, let’s just say that I’ve lost a whole bunch of weight.

I’m a firm believer that one size doesn’t fit all. What’s good for one person might be terrible for another. It took me years to figure out that my blood sugar spikes like mad when I eat bread and rice, that I can’t have sugar of any kind, or that it’s better for me to stay away from cheese (and I really liked cheese). I’ve also got a wonky thyroid, so I have to stay very far away from soy products. Anyway, after years and years of research, I’ve discovered that it’s healthier for me to eat a diet based on stuff that’s good for me. But it might not be good for you. I think each person needs to research, investigate, and – frankly – challenge the prevailing medical wisdom.

But the other day, I was making chicken livers and avocado salad and it looked absolutely beautiful. I know, it might not sound all that good, but it was. So, I’m thinking of converting my video camera back to a still camera (if I can figure out how the heck to do it) and taking pictures of my cooking adventures. Kind of “How Not to Cook Professionally” segments.

Who knows? It might make me a better cook. If nothing else, you might tell yourself NOT to do it that way.