Kensington Publishing decided to publish my first three books back in the dawn of history. Okay, I got the news in 1993.
As you can imagine, I was over the moon.
Cue moon picture. (Seriously, isn’t that pretty?)
My agent, at the time, had been an editor at Kensington. I was too naive to realize that I had been utterly and absolutely hung out to dry with my contract. It was, perhaps, one of the worst contracts in the history of writing, and I wince when I think of it. She was still negotiating on behalf of the publisher, only I didn’t know it.
Let’s just say it this way: I was almost giving my work away.
My advance, when it came, was ludicrously tiny. But I was still working at The Almost Big Bank at the time and I was thrilled. This was play money as far as I was concerned.
Guess what I bought?
Nope, not a computer. That was the second purchase with the next check. (A very expensive computer that I had to purchase from the same supplier who furnished computers to The Almost Big Bank. I was so proud of this thing, even though it only had a 12 MB hard drive. Yes, you read that right. My current computer has a 1T hard drive. Funny what almost twenty years will do, isn’t it?)
My first purchase with my writer money? I bought a coffee table.
My son and I trotted over to a home furnishing store, and I bought this huge square coffee table to fit in front of my sectional. I loved that coffee table, and for years would take Q-tips to clean the blasted thing (lots of curlicues). It was truly a beautiful – and large – piece of furniture.
I couldn’t wait to donate it a few years later.
I think I got rid of it for two reasons: by that time, I’d realized exactly how bad the contract was, especially since Tapestry went on to sell well over 250,000 copies. Every time I looked at that silly table, I was reminded of that fact. The second reason – I was tired of cleaning it. (I have subsequently used a simple rule with all my purchases – how easy is it to clean?)
However, it was a learning experience, as most things are, both in terms of furniture not to buy and contracts not to sign.
How about you? Do you have any: “Gee, I wish I hadn’t bought that” purchases?
When in high school, my parents gave me a monthly clothing allowance. I was to purchase anything I wanted… but it was also to pay for school sporting events, movies, sodas, etc…. Early on, I fell in love with a pair of beautiful lined white wool pants…. WHAT WAS I THINKING!!! certainly not the drycleaning bills!!! Ok.. I think I was 14… so I learned early to read the inside tag on cleaning…
Oh, that’s funny, Cate. I’m highly allergic to wool, so that saved me.
When we bought and moved into our brand new condo 7 years ago, we worked very hard at finding the right furniture for it. The great room is long so we have our sitting area on one side and we wondered what to put on the other side. We have a dining area so we did not want a dining room table that other people put in that spot. In a furniture store, we found the most gorgeous bar with a marble top and all kinds of curlicues and came with a suggestion to buy stock in Q-Tips. (Yes, us too!) This thing is so heavy. It had a companion piece known as a side bar. We bought both pieces with one across the room from the other. As we are not big drinkers, it has never been used as a bar. The pieces, while being absolutely beautiful, are used mostly as storage. However, when our son comes to visit, he uses the bar as his set-up for his laptop. Heaven forbid we should ever move because the movers almost never got those pieces up the stairs. Pretty but very unpractical!
My desk unit is the same gargantuan size, Connie (no marble, though, and no curlicues). But one of the movers pulled a gun on the other one when we moved out of my old house. They had to take it out through the window.
Fun times.
Yes, Our dining room table . It had a beautiful inlaid design in a star pattern and came with cusioned chairs. Well with the nine plus kids I soon noticed that it started sagging in the middle because we had to use the leaf for everyone to fit and they had leaned on it so much it bowed and we couldn’t get it apart. Then when someone spilled water on it and didn’t wipe it up, up cane the inlaid, then there is the white stuff that got spilled that took off the finish, to this day I have no idea what it was. Then there are the designs around the edge and the legs that are very hard to clean. Now let’s move onto the padded chairs, after kids have spilled and peed, yes peeed, and thrown up on them I’ve decided folding chairs and the table I just got from the old laundrymat look real good. People including me have folded laundry on this table for decades, it’s not going to bow short of an elephant sitting on it. It’s faded so it won’t metter if they put marker stains on it. The folding chairs are much easiler to clean. When we get our old table from RI I may give it and the chairs away, to a home w/o kids.
Z
I loved that story, Zina! Furniture has to be child proof, which is probably why we had a separate living room when I was growing up. I was NOT allowed in it.
I have decided I will never buy a heavy piece of furniture again. Trying to move the blasted things is almost impossible. I have also decided never to buy expensive furniture. I would rather not have to worry about every scratch.
I bought my current living room furniture from Club Furniture in North Carolina. I wanted to buy American, and I wanted to buy slipcovered stuff. I’m so glad I did the slipcovers, because I can change them. The furniture is way heavy, however, and not that cheap, but it’s the last couch/chair/chaise I’ll buy, I think.
My sleigh bed, which was so heavy, than when I moved, we all got an hernia. Gave it to my daughter & husband #1. They divorced and bed went somewhere. LOL. She also got an hernia moving it up the stairs, hence giving it away too. Wonder who has it now…. LOL
I’ve heard those are a bear to move. Pretty, but heavy!
My husband bought me a tread mill that I wish he had not gotten! It’s huge and the only place we have for it is in our living room – which is not all that big. And it doesn’t really fold up when not in use to take less space either.
When I bought Flash’s treadmill, Karen, my ONLY requirement was that it was already assembled. Luckily, it does fold up, but man, that thing is heavy. I never fold it up because it’s so heavy.
I think treadmills must be a universal purchase, don’t you think? Everyone seems to buy one at some point in their lives.
My dining room table and matching china cabinet. The table has a glass top that lays over a beautiful french looking wood pattern. I cringe every time someone sets a glass down too hard (I use place mats but it seems people want to set their glasses to the side for some unknown reason) and keeping the wood pattern clean underneath is a pain. The pattern is crisscrossed which makes diamond shapes and where the diamonds connect there are engraved flowers. The china cabinet doors have the same carved diamond crisscrosses with flowers. Like you, it takes q-tips to clean it properly. I keep telling Courtney she is going to inherit it once I find another set.
I’m still looking to replace those blasted chairs I have, Leah. HATE those things.
I have a Gee, “I wished I had not married that first husband…..”
After putting him through Med-School he left with a skinny
blonde nurse. uhhhmmmm
Ten years later, Mr. Keeper came along and became the
hubby to me and the father to my daughter that we should
have had from the beginning. 30 years later – all is still great.
I cannot think of a bad furniture purchase. Helen in Ark.
Helen, I had that same wish. My 2nd husband adopted my daughter and that’s the only father she knows. Even though we are divorced he has continued to be a wonderful father to her and in a little over 2 months will be walking her down the isle
I found my Mr. Keeper after the second divorce but am not planning on marriage this time. We live like we’re married, everyone calls us each others husband/wife and we let them. I’m glad you found your keeper!
Isn’t that a great sign of a good guy, Leah, that your second husband continues to be a good father? Good for him. And good for you for finding Mr. Keeper, too.
What a lovely story, Helen. How blessed you are to have had Mr. Keeper.
I bought a printer/FAX/scanner a few years ago. It is a pain. I should not have given away my old printer. I wanted a FAX. Never used it in all this time.
I had one of those, Mary. I gave it to my son. Ahem. But he switched to a Kindle Fire instead of using his PC, so he doesn’t print at all now.