First of all, I hate when I accidentally hit the wrong key and publish a post before it’s ready. Aghghghg.
I saw this on Pinterest, and I think it’s a fun place that’s a gigantic time suck – for me, at least.
At first, I smiled. Then I realized that it’s all wrong.
You ARE responsible for what people understand. That’s what communication is all about.
Communication is both speaking and active listening.
Otherwise, it’s only called pontificating.
Thoughts?
First of all, I am famous for hitting the enter key before I should. So, welcome to the club.
I don’t think you are necessarily responsible for what people understand. If your first communication was clear, then the person who receives this owes it to you to think about and absorb what was communicated to them before responding. Communication is speaking clearly and actively listening. I know I’m guilty of tuning things out on occasion, thus not actively listening. I guess it comes from trying to read while hubby is watching what I find to be mindless TV. At least that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it!
I got demerits (and I’m only partially kidding) for being in a meeting and NOT clarifying what the other person comprehended of my talk, speech, or argument.
So, Connie, what I hear you saying is XXX. Is that correct?
I think it’s called echoing (?) Or mirroring (?)
But, I was trained that I was responsible for what people understood.
Now, as a writer, I have almost that same responsibility. True, the reader brings his own life experiences, prejudices, etc. to a book, but I’m responsible for making things as clear as possible for him.
That doesn’t mean I always get it right.
I have taken a few hours and slept the sleep of the damned, but it wasn’t long enough
Karen, when I read this, I instantly thought about what I said the other day. Then after reading it back to myself after it was posted, it didn’t read the same as I meant it. That’s when I posted again. I think someone from the north wrote this, and I am giggling here. We southerners tend to be more relaxed (am I really trying to say “not as sarcastic as”) some from the north. And again, I will clarify that not all northerners are sarcastic. Just the one I live with and his mother in the extreme
Sarcasm can be funny if dealt lightly as my DH does and that’s as far as I will go on the sentence before this one. I agree somewhat in that saying you posted above. I do think however that we need to make sure we are expressing ourselves clearly and if we falter in that we need to correct ourselves.
You can also look at it this way. Be who you are and speak clearly. Do not change who you are for anyone else. Accept who you are and don’t worry about what others think of you.
I’m not one to placate. I will correct myself if I believe I have expressed myself in a way other than I intended. A few placed words can make a difference. Hence my correcting myself the other day. In my mind it said the same thing but reread the first sounded really thoughtless to my ears, not intended from my heart or mind.
I’m thinking Confucius here needs some more rest.
I know people from New York, and they’re sense of humor and mine don’t mesh. Or maybe what constitutes an insult to me is something they brush off.
I understood everything you said, Confucius. Still want to know WHY your research.
I go off on tangents, myself. The other night, I was intrigued by the wife of Napoleon III, and there I went.
The “why”? I cannot soak up enough history of anything medieval. As for the abbeys and priories, I love medieval architecture. Even when in ruins. I think they are beautiful. Don’t think I’ve went over the edge when I say that I can almost hear the people from the era calling to me. Even the stones. About the other night, why I went to abbeys and priories instead of an individual…..it’s just where my heart and fingers on the keyboard took me. No rhyme or reason except my love for anything medieval.
I learned and taught the kids in my high school journalism classes that communication is making your message understood. Sometimes that doesn’t always happen through no fault of yours. Some people choose to hear only what they want to hear like my husband who has selective hearing! Even if your message is clear, it still does not necessarily mean that the listener has the same mindset. I don’t think there’s much a writer or anyone else can do about that. You just do the best you can.
In the business world I ‘lived’ in, I was responsible for ensuring whomever I was communicating with understood what I was saying. Gee, I don’t miss that at all! Having said that, I take responsibility for understanding what is being communicated. I’m from New York where sarcasm is alive and well, although I have to say that I’ve been hurt just as much by some gentle southern people who assert themselves to be ‘good christians’.
One of the worst bosses I had, and one of the most vile human beings, carried religious tracts with him all the time. He did things to people that were just…wrong, like laying off an entire division two days before Christmas. And letting them know with a letter. Merry Christmas, you don’t have a job.
Always worry about a southerner who says, “bless your heart.” You KNOW you’re going to get zapped.